Inside the Rebellion of Saints

this is for all the kids who glow in the dark. I'm the narrator and this is just the prologue.

Posts tagged life

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Hello y’all! Well so far college has been one hell of a journey for me and you’ve all been there with me every step of the way through all the ups and downs. This next step in my college career takes me to Gaming Austria to spend a semester abroad. This is my first time leaving the US and flying over seas! I’m so nervous but excited as well!! I’ll be joining around 170 students from my school and we basically are relocating for 4 months to our sister campus in Austria! It’s a pretty sweet deal :) I’ll be visiting many countries and making pilgrimages to various holy places. I’ve decided that for this kind of adventure I’m going to need a separate blog … so I created one! Please be sure to check that out:
Please hit me up with questions and prayer intentions!!
See you on the other side :)
Peace and Blessings, Mary Beth

Filed under austria gaming new blog college life personal

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It’s easy to feel uncared for when people aren’t able to communicate and connect with you in the way you need. And it’s so hard not to internalize that silence as a reflection on your worth. But the truth is that the way other people operate is not about you. Most people are so caught up in their own responsibilities, struggles, and anxiety that the thought of asking someone else how they’re doing doesn’t even cross their mind. They aren’t inherently bad or uncaring—they’re just busy and self-focused. And that’s okay. It’s not evidence of some fundamental failing on your part. It doesn’t make you unloveable or invisible. It just means that those people aren’t very good at looking beyond their own world. But the fact that you are—that despite the darkness you feel, you have the ability to share your love and light with others—is a strength. Your work isn’t to change who you are; it’s to find people who are able to give you the connection you need. Because despite what you feel, you are not too much. You are not too sensitive or too needy. You are thoughtful and empathetic. You are compassionate and kind. And with or without anyone’s acknowledgment or affection, you are enough.
Daniell Koepke 

(Source: internal-acceptance-movement, via boston-gobragh)

Filed under this is perfect love life understand visible life lessons valuable worthy attention

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I swear, when I’m a dad, my wife is gonna get like 0 time with my kids. My God, I can’t wait to be a father.

I think that is the cutest thing i have ever heard a guy say

I’ve only ever seen one gif from this before! I’m so glad this turned up on my dash.


I need a family like this !

This is priceless :) <3

(Source: pink--thinker, via thegreatestthing)

Filed under love life father parenthood child children truelove bath bathtub bubblebaths dad

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…people say I have a problem with it.
And well yes that might be true. I came out of the womb kicking and screaming, because despite being 10 days late I wasn’t ready in my own mind to be thrown out into the world. I’ve been kicking and screaming my way through life ever since …I suppose you could say.

I’m defiant.

I have a habit of going right simply because I was instructed to go left.
Like the late James Dean, I fancy myself to be a rebel without a cause (hence my blog name…among other reasons). 
I think the truth of the matter above all else is this: I value my freedom (of both speech & action) as well as my God-given free will above anything else in life. I don’t trust people who tell me what to do, because frankly the only person I believe anyone has to answer to is God. And honestly how can anyone be sure of whats best for me if they don’t walk in my shoes? It’s quite rational really. 
When it comes to people in positions of authority…I often wonder how they could fancy themselves to be anything better than what I am. We are all the same, all fallen creatures, all children of one Divine Being who lives outside of time and space. Obedience to anyone other than God in my opinion is slavery. I will be a slave to no one. 

Most people that claim to be “bosses” or “managers” don’t take the time to earn my trust or respect, it’s either naturally assumed or demanded. This isn’t the right way to go about anything. I will never respond to demands. 

I live by a certain code of rebellion.

I live by my own rules.

This rant is now over. 

Thanks for listening/reading.

Filed under life personal me authority challenges managers work respect God faith real life obedience rebellion rebel james dean rebel without a cause

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I fell in love with the way he breathed. His voice when he spoke to those around us. His presence when he walked into a room. Sometimes it was just enough to know he was near. I carry him in my heart and replay his voice over in my head when we are apart. I fell in love with the way he touched my heart and made me feel alive. The glow I could feel growing inside me, shooting life back into my soul. I fell in love with the man he was trying to be - and the woman he somehow made me in the process. The soft touch of his hands was the warmth I needed. 

Filed under love life personal me

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Life is hard right now.

I lost my grandmother last week.
I’m working a great job and though I love it, it’s slowly draining me physically and mentally. Working 16 hour days every day will do that.
I made some poor choices in college this semester, which led me to be a woman I wasn’t proud of. I have to live with that and all those consequences. It’s haunting and I feel like it looms over my head. Though I passionately feel God’s mercy towards my heart, I still feel like I’m trying to live it down and everything seems to be a constant reminder of how I have failed in one way or another. The devil has a habit of doing that to us. But he’s not gonna win this time. But all of life is not doom and gloom. There are some good things.  
I have an incredible friend in my life and he continues to just radiate this joy that electrifies my soul. Its incredible and I see how God is working through him to heal my heart and teach me things that I didn’t know about myself or the world. He’s renewed my faith in the reality of good people in the world, but more importantly the existence of good guys. I honestly thought were extinct. But I live in a constant state of losing him because I just in my core believe that I’m not good enough.  Somehow I’m gonna mess it up —- this is a real fear and it’s eating me up inside, trying to overwhelm my joy. 

But God is good, and He is faithful —- so very faithful to me. It often blows my mind.

Prayers would be appreciated honestly.  

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