Posts tagged purity
Posts tagged purity
so yeah, I have these epic pants, and I call them my “purity britches”
“I remember the cool girls when I was growing up. Everyone started to have sex. But it’s not really cool anymore to have sex all the time. It’s cooler to be strong and independent.” “I can’t believe I’m saying this — don’t have sex. I’m single right now and I’ve chosen to be single…”
“I remember the cool girls when I was growing up. Everyone started to have sex. But it’s not really cool anymore to have sex all the time. It’s cooler to be strong and independent.”
“I can’t believe I’m saying this — don’t have sex. I’m single right now and I’ve chosen to be single…”“You don’t have to have sex to feel good about yourself.”
“So it’s OK not to have sex, it’s OK to get to know people. I’m celibate, celibacy’s fine.”
“I want to have babies for my Dad to hold, grandkids. And I want to have a husband who loves and supports me, just the way anyone else does.”
BEYONCE IS MY HERO!
oh my gosh I love her so much
58% of American teens are virgins. So don’t even try to tell me that “everyone is doing it”, because that’s a lie and I don’t buy it for a second. I refuse to believe that all teenagers fail to control their hormones and “whore” around.We aren’t animals. Yes we are flawed beings who are still trying to find our place in this world, but in the core of our being we just desire to be loved…and many of us fail to recognize what that means.
(And according to a national study released in october, the rate of sexual activity in guys is going down twice as much as it was before…so ladies, not EVERY guy wants to “get in your pants”. There are still honorable men out there, you just have to look.)
1: Being a virgin does not make you better than everyone else. Having sex does not make you a “whore,” nor does it mean that you “whore around.” That would mean that you receive money for sexual favors, and even if that’s the case, “whore” is a derogatory term and you should wipe it from your vocabulary when referring to happy, healthy, sexually active people.
2: Just because “58%” of teens aren’t having sex (and I’d like to see where you found that statistic) doesn’t mean that teens in general aren’t having sex or shouldn’t have sex at all. Sex is a personal choice, and if you want to do it, you should be allowed to without self-righteous “pure” people like you trying to degrade them at every turn.
3: We are animals. Just because we have cognizance and rational thought does not mean we are not animals with animal desires. But guess what? Those desires and urges are 100% natural, and condemning them and shaming people who engage in them is wrong.
4: Men are not the only people who like sex and seek it out. There’s as many women trying to get into men’s pants as there are men trying to get into women’s pants. Sex drive is not reserved for one gender.
5: Just because someone has sex or wants sex does not mean they are not “honorable.” And honestly, are we in the 15th century? “Honorable?” I’d rather have an honest, down-to-earth, friendly man who can be open with me about all aspects of life, including sex, then someone who parades under the guise of false honor through some ill conceived ”sexual purity.”
BTW: You post reeks of the “virgin/whore” dichotomy without any regard to the nature of sex, and the reasons people have sex. It’s inherently one sided and crude.
Thank you, and goodbye.
Hi! Thank you for so boldly stating your concern about my inherent crude and one-sided stance on my sexuality and sexuality in particular. I appreciate seeing opposing sides, because I like trying to understand how people think. It seems that you and I view things in a dramatically different light.
However I am not sorry if you found what I said to be offensive, because that is my view/belief/opinion. I am as much entitled to stating it as you are. And your blog is just focused upon your beliefs and endeavors to advocate them, as is mine.
I do truly respect the fact that you present your argument thoroughly and intellectually. J And you do have a very valid argument, but mind you that I do also.
Never once have I stated that I hold myself above anyone else. The image used in that post is from a tshirt – which I own. Displaying a message that says “virginity rocks” doesn’t mean I think that I’m better than anyone else. No more than someone wearing a shirt with “support gay rights” on it, would make them better than people who don’t support that. It’s silly to think so. The beauty of being American is that we do have freedom of speech and freedom of religion. J
I hate the term “whore” and that’s why I put it in parenthesis initially. I was in no way trying to judge those who are sexually active. I don’t think that people who fornicate are evil, “sluts”, “whores” or any other derogatory term you can think of. I have friends who have been or are sexually active, and that fact doesn’t make me love them any more or less. But not all sexually active people are “happy”, that’s generalizing. But you can’t argue that society has ever respected such persons, none the less.
I’m very well read on this issue and I make it my business to be. I’m a speaker and advocate of a chaste lifestyle, I’m written various talks, presentations and led conferences on the issue of sexuality. I’ve spoken at various venues, to varying crowd sizes, races/religions/ethnicities/genders/backgrounds. I’m part of a national organization called Family Honor, who’s mission it is to spread a message of virtue and confidence in each individual’s identity – especially focused on teens. I’m extremely active in this ministry and I’m pursuing a college degree in ministry. The statistic you were skeptical of came from Jason Evert. I personally had a conversation with him and he shared this information from a recent poll that was taken on a national scale (released by the National Health Federation in October 2011). Jason Evert is a critically acclaimed international speaker, show host/creator, producer, best-selling author of over 10 books, and a founder of his own publishing company. He’s a credible and valid source that I often turn to. (if you’re interested his website is www.chastity.com)
I don’t think that sex is bad, and that’s not my point whatsoever. In the beginning of the Bible, God says to the first man and woman (Adam & Eve) “Be fruitful and multiply. Take dominion over the earth and subdue it.” (if you’re skeptical about that, it’s Genesis chapter 2) He was telling them to have sex. SEX IS A BEAUTIFUL THING! But there is a time and place for everything. We were all created with sexual organs and sexual desires for a reason. We are made to be united that way – man and woman. We fit into each other like perfect puzzle pieces. I don’t walk around professing that I have no sex-drive, because that’s a lie. Being a virgin doesn’t mean I’m a prude or I see sex as evil, and I’m better than everyone because I don’t give into my sexual desires. It means that I truly revere and respect my body enough to save it from abuse, disease and broken hearts. I’d rather not be used, or hurt. Yes sex is a choice made between people who are in love. It means that they are open to life, and expressing the love they have for each other. And no I’m not a “self-righteous pure person” trying to “degrade” sexually active couples at every turn. That’s absolutely ridiculous.
Sex is a gift. It’s when you become one with another, heart, body and soul. I don’t want to share that with just anyone. When you have sex your body releases hormones that make a couple bond chemically. That chemical bond is what creates a commitment physically. This is a scientific fact. It’s also a fact that after you’ve had 2 sexual partners, your body stop emitting that chemical = no bond. Sex is a gift, like I said, it’s an act of true love. It’s opening up yourself and offering up yourself, and your vulnerability. It is the most beautiful thing we are created to do. And honestly, I cannot wait to share that with my husband! Sex is a commitment, and I will be solely committed to him alone. I don’t see anything wrong with that, because there isn’t.
WE ARE NOT ANIMALS. Animals rely and react on their instincts. They are carnal beings. They cannot act with virtue or prudence. They aren’t programmed to. Humans have emotions – passion, desire, lust, love, greed, compassion, resentment, ect. Animals don’t. We have souls, we can sense love and loss, companionship and betrayal. We know hurt and heartbreak. All of us desire love. We were made in love, to love. We long for one another because we were MADE for one another. There’s nothing wrong with that. Sexual desire and lust are two totally different aspects of man’s personality. We are able to control our emotions and desires. We aren’t controlled by our passions. As humans we are capable of love but we’re also capable of refraining. Unlike animals, we make a commitment when we love. Animals are led by instincts that they can’t control, that’s just how they are created. Men are not. Unfortunately a lot of us act like animals when we act on our sex drive without prudence.
No sex means NO LIFE. Our minds and hearts are programmed for desire. And yes I agree with you, condemning someone for having sex drive, when it’s completely natural, is TOTALLY WRONG.
Yes guys aren’t the only ones who have strong sexual passions. Clearly women do too, I mean I do. But it is a scientific fact that men are visual beings, and they also have a stronger sex drive than women. That’s their chemical make-up. Yes a lot of women are sexually aggressive in our generation, but that’s against our true nature. I feel like we lose part of our femininity when we act like that. Guys are supposed to be more driven. But you are right, sex drive isn’t gender specific. All of us have sex-drive. It’s natural, normal and human. It’s what makes us human in a way. Humans need companionship. We weren’t made to be alone. And yes I know guys, I have tons of guy friends – and most of them aren’t sexually active. I’m pretty crazy about one in fact, and guess what? The reason WHY we love each other is because we SEE MORE IN EACH OTHER than a sex-partner. I respect him so much for that.
Chastity isn’t an old fashioned ideal. Chastity is as old as immorality. The two go hand in hand. Honestly sister, I’ve had more guys respect me for my lifestyle choice than not. I have more guys in my life that love me because I respect myself and “don’t put out” than ones that shrug me off and think I’m a “prude”. I’d rather be called a “prude” (which is short for prudent btw) than a “slut” which means something completely opposite, and it’s demeaning and humiliating. I don’t walk around hiding behind a “purity mask”. Sexual purity is not a “guise of honor”. That’ s completely absurd. No one has ever thought that about me either. I’m completely genuine in everything that I do. Having sex is a decision you said, well girl NOT having sex is also a decision and that’s the decision I’ve made. Oh I totally plan on having sex when I’m married, but that’s it. If a guy truly wants my body, he’s going to have to pay for it – the cost is a wedding ring. He’s not just gonna get my body though, he’s going to get my love and my soul. True love means commitment. If I never get married, I’ll die a virgin, and I’m okay with that. I’m an adult and I think I’m at an age where I can decide what I’m truly called to.
Not having sex with guys and them knowing that I don’t have sex at this point in my life, is a surefire way to know that they are truly my friends because of who I AM. Not what I PUT OUT. Yeah, I’m beautiful & maybe God gave me a nice body – idk, but a girl who respects herself and carries herself with pride is a hell of a lot sexier than a girl who has sex whenever she feels its right. Girls like that are a dime a dozen. I’ve never wanted to be like anyone else. I want to be unique.
Someone who loves me will cherish that about me, so I’m not too worried about what anyone else thinks. So yeah, I’m proud of being a virgin!
I have dated. I’ve been in serious relationships and I haven’t had sex. It IS possible. Guys don’t only want sex, and neither do girls. Relationships are more than physicality. At least the relationships that I have. No boyfriend of mine has ever thought I was a prude, or I was weird, or “old fashioned” (or 15th century chic – thank you). In every one of those relationships I’ve been nothing but respected and cherished. I’m more than a body, I’m a soul. And that’s what I want guys to see.
I’m not lacking in a social life, guys, dates, friends or respect. I’m a girl that guys are proud of, and more importantly I’m a girl that I AM PROUD OF.
Call me what you want, but my life is full and happy. I’ve never regretted any choices I’ve made in regard to my purity.
The purpose of my original post was to encourage others who also share my lifestyle, and whether you believe it or not – there are MANY OF US. J
If you’d like to discuss this topic further, I’m open to it. I promise you that I have an answer for any question you ask. And if I don’t, I’ll find one for you. That’s a promise. J
Thanks for sharing your ideas! Blessings, Mary Beth
I’ve been reading this book, and I totally suggest it!
“Purity 365: Daily Reflections on True Love”
by Jason Evert
This is an amazing way to start the day! :)
Jason and his wife have an awesome ministry and an amazing story. They dramatically effect my spiritual life! I was so blessed to meet them both!! Please check out their website: www.chastity.com
P4CM Presents: Ready or Not
by Featured RHETORIC Poets
Ezekiel & Janette..ikz
Wherever you are and whomever you may be, I know there is a good chance that you might not read this…yet still I feel compelled to jot it all down at the moment.
Waiting for you is and will continue to be one of the hardest undertakings I have ever willingly accepted, but don’t doubt for an instant that I do not find sincere joy in this struggle. Because there is so much joy in preparing myself, heart/mind/body/soul, for your arrival into my life…whenever that may be, God willing. There’s a saying that states “there’s beauty in the struggle” and I have found this to be true, because I firmly believe…I know…that you are worth waiting for. You deserve my undivided attention, and my undivided heart. :)
Many have tried to convince me that you aren’t worthy of so much effort, time, and refusals. It has been suggested that maybe I am wasting my “precious youth” and not experiencing life to the fullest, and that when we meet, we will be completely unsatisfied. But I know that that is a lie, for the “truth shall set you free”. God made my heart for you, and yours for mine so that we may one day fit together like perfect puzzle pieces, united by an undying love centered on Christ.
I have never ever once regretted my decision to reserve every inch of my body and soul for you. It’s all got your name on it, waiting for God’s time and revelation! ;)
Why? Because I love you and only you.
Even never having met you thus far on my journey, or not realizing it if I have, I love you deeply. (Deeper than I truly understand at times, but I do!) <3
I am willing to fight for you, say “no” countless times to impersonators of you, whatever it takes for us to finally find each other. And I don’t regret a moment so far. Every “no”, every tear, every mockery of my love for you, every setback, every shattered hope or broken heart reminds me that I am that much closer to your heart, your “yes”, your smile, your kindhearted teasing, our victories and our united heart.
When we meet at the end of that isle, we will know that we survived every battle, challenge and war. We passed every test and outshine every misunderstanding. We will know that we fought for each other.
And we will know that we won. God won. Because the truth will make us eternally free.
I will whole-heartedly consecrate myself to you, and you to me.
I long for you and that day when we will be truly one, as according to Genesis chapter 2, “this is why a man leaves his father and mother and clings to his wife and the two become one flesh”. It is not easy to be alone, or even surrounded. Especially when I know that you are out there somewhere. It is not easy to be patient, and to allow God to be the master match-maker I believe Him to be! But I pray, and God is eternally good…He never gives me anything I can’t handle.
Know that I think of you very often, and just as often you are in my prayers!
You are always my motive and inspiration, and our future together gives me so much courage and hope to face whatever I may before that day. :)
Be completely assured that I love you passionately, unreservedly, completely…and I tell everyone the same! ;)
I’m not perfect, I can be a hurricane…but I expect you will be also.
Just because we were made perfectly for each other…doesn’t mean that we were made perfectly apart. :)
I look forward to cherishing your soul, and being given charge of getting you to heaven! Because first and foremost you are my brother in Christ. :) I also enjoy the idea of our future family and how we will show them to be strong Christ-like & Christ-led men and women!
I know you will be an excellent father and husband…and friend. <3
To God be all praise forever!
Until then, I will lovingly wait for you my love!
With all I am,
your future wife
-Mary Beth <3 :)
Saint Alphonsus Liguori
Holy Mary, most pure…pray for us.